Friday, 25 December 2020

अंतिम संवाद

 चौदह बरस चली संग तिहारे

अब मैं राम न आऊँगी

अकेले वन में जन्मी संतान तुम्हारी

अब मैं राम न आऊँगी। 


वन में गयी महलों को छोड़ कर

उपवन में रही पूरा एक बरस

आए तो तुम मुझे छुड़ाने

लाये भी नगरी तुम्हारी

पर फिर से छोड़ दिया मुझे वन में

अब मैं राम न आऊँगी। 


अखंड है  वंश तुम्हारा,राज तुम्हारा

पर सच है  यह भी-

नहीं मिटेगा कलंक हमारा,

चाहे जितना मुझे बुलाओ

अब मैं राम न आऊँगी। 


रूठ गया मन इस जीवन से

मुक्त करो अब इस बंधन से

अब न होगा मेल हमारा

मैं धरती में समाऊँगी 

अब मैं राम न आऊँगी। 

------------

छोड़ गयी  तुम संगिनी

बांटा था जिससे जीवन को

तुम्हें भेज कर वन में, मैंने भी

त्यागा था राजकीय जीवन को।


दुखा दिया हृदय तुम्हारा

जग की रीत निभाने को,

भेजे थे साथ ही प्राण भी अपने 

भेजा था जब वन में तुमको।


निर्जीव हूँ उसी क्षण से

जब छूटा था साथ तुम्हारा,

तो अब मैं भी जाता हूँ-

पहले ढूंढा था तुमको वन में

अब खुद को ढूँढने जाता  हूँ।


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Thursday, 12 November 2020

A New Lease

 

When I thought 

it was all over

It started

all over again.


I thought

you were going to leave me.

But you clung to me 

more passionately

more forcefully.


I had already started 

to shake you off.

But you came back,

giving me a new perception

of yourself and mine too.


With a brush with death,

Life- you have become

more meaningful,

more precious,

more giving.


And I take it all

with Gratitude 

to have been sanctioned

a new lease of life.


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Monday, 9 November 2020

When Did I Say?

 

When did I say

My love for you is dead


It's just another bad day

Clouds are not pouring

They are still grey

Air humid, roads crowded.


When did I say

I won't come back

Who else is there for me

Where can I stray


I am so-

So in love with you

May we always be together

That's what I pray.


When did I say

I 'd never fight with you again

Loving or hurting

we are to share the pain


Sometimes it comes

as pangs of physical separation

Sometimes as

a difference of opinion


Or sometimes 

it's just a spat -

short span of 

shouting and crying


But tell my love

When did I say

My love for you is dead


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किचन और कविता

आन्धियों सी उड़ती 
बंद बरनियों में,
चेहरा देखकर
चमकती कड़छियों में,

बिंदी को बना कर
चकले - सी गोल या 
कार के पहियों- सी,

गुन्धे आटे के रंग से सजकर,
तवे- सा काला टीका लगा कर,
लाल-मिर्च के रंग सा -
सिंदूर लगाती हूँ। 

अलग अलग डिब्बों में
जिंदगी को जीकर,
काँच के गिलास-सा 
मान उठाती हूँ।

कढ़ाइयों से सीख लेती हूँ
आग में तप कर  भी न जलना।
गुस्सा जब तेल सा खौले,
अपना ही अभिमान  तल लेना।

फिर मुस्कान सजा कर
नए बर्तनों-सी खुद पर,
चल पड़ती हूँ-
बिंदी-सा गोल स्टियरिंग घुमाकर।

इंजन आवाज़ करता है
मन के झंजावात-सी ,
जैसे दाल  में छौंक लगा हो।

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Friday, 28 August 2020

क्या कभी

क्या कभी

तुम मेरी 

सुबह का हिस्सा 

बन पाओगे


जल्दी जल्दी में

मेरे अदना से

सवाल सुन पाओगे 


वो चाय की 

चुस्कियों के 

बीच की खमोशियां-

उनमें छुपी 

हज़ार बातों में 

अपनी आवाज़ 

मिलाओगे?


क्या कभी

तुम मेरी 

सुबह का हिस्सा 

बन पाओगे

-------------------------------------------

सुबह तो बहुत

व्यस्त होती हैं


शामों के बारे में सोचना

थक कर लौटते हो जब

घर के बारे में सोचना

घर की सारी बातें

बेमानी नहीं होती

सच है ये बातें

रूमानी नहीं होती

फिर भी होती हैं 

जिंदगी का अहम हिस्सा


क्या कभी 

तुम मेरी 

घर की बातों का

हिस्सा बन पाओगे


क्या कभी

 तुम मेरी

जिंदगी का 

हिस्सा बन पाओगे?

क्या कभी ? 


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Friday, 12 June 2020

The Connection


"My son's name is Ivan." Instinctively she turned her head to look at the speaker. She adjusted her glasses and paid attention to facial features and built up. Short-stature man in 30's, perhaps late 20's smiling daintily with brown stained teeth. She felt an irresistible urge to talk to the speaker, to know more about him.  Was she looking for a new relationship? Definitely not. Then what was she looking for? It eluded her for several days. For once she thought it was infatuation but then the mind brushed aside the thought as soon as it came. The mind questioned the heart a thousand times but the heart kept dodging.

Something drew her to him. May be it was the Crimea situation and his fear for the safety of his elders back home? A problem close to her heart- common people suffering/displaced on account of political crises. Filthy power games. She started taking interest in the conversations that went around, albeit she understood nothing. Their German speaking skills were way ahead her. She started following world news. She got an idea of what was going on in Crimea.

One day she spotted him sitting alone in the corridor. Impulsively she walked up to him and asked him about the current, realistic situation. Thankfully he explained it in English. Among other things, he said: "It's like big fish eating the smaller ones."

 Conversations started. The next thing she came to know was that, he was a chef by profession. He often talked about his native food and how it was made. Though she was a hardcore vegetarian, his cooking explanations never failed to bring water in her mouth. Whatever he explained seemed to be the tastiest dish ever invented. They often discussed about spices and he eventually got to register in his mind that she came from India. One day he specifically asked her about South Indian spices and she felt that she had no clue except the regular ones she uses in her kitchen on daily basis. She was no cook and for her cooking was a necessity rather than a hobby. She cooked average north Indian food which she thought was not very exciting. But she managed to tell him what she knew. There were actually many things which she was able to tell him about Indian food.  He listened carefully and said with a beaming smile: "I never knew that!"

 This made her feel proud of herself.  She had actually surprised herself with the knowledge of Indian food and spices she had.

Another day they discussed more immediate families. She told him that she loved her family and especially for her husband, she felt a strange affection which went beyond regular wifely  duties towards him. He praised her for accompanying her husband in a foreign country, putting a well paying job on hold to be with him. He gave her one more reason to be proud of her own self. The very next day he confessed that her views about family have actually helped him understand his own family situation. Then he went on telling her that his wife was the best thing that ever happened to him and he loved his son more than anything in the world. He added with a smile "Now I think, I understand my wife better". She knew, he was talking about the selfless love women have towards their husbands if they love them.

She saw them once together. All three of them having ice-cream near the language school. She was a petite, slim woman who looked very young. She saw their son also. Brown eyes of the father and smooth skin of the mother. She felt an instant love for that child.

One day as she was engrossed in her  German lessons, a lightning struck through her brain and there came an image of the book she had read in childhood- Russi aur Ukraini Lok Kathayein . The images of the small tent swam before her eyes along with the memories of her school, the Janu-Najanu books and the character in almost all the stories- Ivan.

So, this was the lost connection of the heart. Strange! Everything became clear- why she got attracted to him, why she wanted to talk to him , why was he special ? This was the lost puzzle piece. It was his son's name which connected her to her childhood memories of  the books bought at the book fair and the red van that ferried the books to the, then small, university town .

She met him again when she was least expecting. This time she told him about her childhood and the book fair mentioning that  his son's name was very special to her. This prodded another  set of memories, this time in him- of togetherness and peace that once prevailed in his native village. He told her about the Russian- Ukraine common cultural connections, the stories about clan war and the eventual break up of U.S.S.R. Telling her how it used to be back in time, he confirmed that Ivan was a well-known name in the common local folk tales. The name which stands for the righteous one, the courageous one , the hero.

 She could never stop wondering, how a name could find a long lost memory which was among the sweetest ones, lost in the hum-drum of growing up and running around. 

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Wednesday, 20 May 2020

Wounded Heart



who will nurse 
a wounded heart
broken by someone dear?

it grumbles, 
betrayed by those
who were close to it.

losing all reputation,
all relation
personal and social
it dries up.

feels nothing
for those who broke it.
nothing.
no anger, no resentment.

it falls silent
with the heavy knowledge
of a newly learned lesson.

another of a kind 
that life teaches us
while killing us softly.


Good Old "Malgudi Days"

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