Eight-year-old Suhani stopped at the kitchen door as
she saw her mother cutting onions. This was not the first time, she saw her
crying like this. She knew every time her mother cut the onions was not to cook
something but to hide the fact that she was unhappy, dejected, and sad. She knew it was hard for her mother
to face her father in this situation as he only was the reason for her sadness.
He scolded her often for one thing or another and her mother went silently into
the kitchen without letting her father know that she was hurt. Then
everything was normal again after she
came back from her kitchen, a smile adorning her face with a hint of tears, still
in her eyes. Once Suhani asked her mother angrily, "Why don't you tell
papa, how much it hurts when he scolds you every now and then, whether you are
at fault or not?" Her mother replied," It's no use Suhani. No one can
understand a woman's heart, maybe no one wants to. Besides he doesn't like
when I cry. He would be even more furious." That was once for all and she
grew up with this thought engraved in her mind, often reinforced by jokes and statements
uttered all around her.
While growing up, she told herself, there is no one who can
understand her, and actually, there is no need to be understood by anyone.
*****
Raj and Suhani were going through a rocky patch in
their marriage. They got married two years ago, Raj drawn to Suhani's non-melodramatic
nature and Suhani loved Raj, as he made her laugh. They recently shifted to
this small rented accommodation to save money to pay for their flat. Of late,
Raj was becoming quite restless. He simply couldn't understand her weird habits.
He hated it when after vehemently denying his ideas, she would just get up and
go into the kitchen, getting herself busy in cooking something. "Why does
she have to replace her emotions with a plate of pakoras? Why cann't we have a normal converstion?" He was getting
insane, with these thoughts buzzing in his head.
As for Suhani, she never felt at peace in this flat. She
knew this was the only one they could afford in their budget, but she felt deep
in her heart that something was not quite right about this flat and then it
happened.
One heated argument. As usual, she went into the
kitchen and started cutting the onions. With the kitchen wall gone, Raj
observed her from the sofa and couldn't resist himself. Instinctively, he got up
and went to her. He asked: "What are you doing?"
She was startled and
actually got ashamed that Raj had caught her crying. A quick thought flashed in
her mind that, as she was cutting onions, she could escape Raj's scrutinizing
eyes. Maybe her cover isn't yet blown away. This thought vanished with the
speed it flashed. At that very instant she realized that the kitchen wall was
missing. So this, the concept of the open kitchen, was bothering her about this
flat. That's why she didn't like this house. She had no privacy...to cry, to
vent out her feelings.
She had never expected, what happened next.
Raj embraced her
lightly, holding her shoulders he placed a light kiss on her forehead and
said, "Don't take so much stress, or your little head
would burst. I didn't know you
would be so upset with this idea. What do you think we should do?"
She shared her idea of taking a loan rather than
selling off her ornaments for the down payment. He really liked it. He asked
her to prepare some tea as well and picked up his phone to call someone.
This was kind of lightning in the dark. Suhani
realized that each husband-wife relationship does not need to be the same. It
was the open kitchen that opened the doors of honest communication between
them. She understood that it is very
important to let him know how she feels rather than hiding her feelings, anger and frustration
behind pakora plates, like her mother always did.
She called out from the kitchen, "Raj, tea is
ready and tell the builder, I want an open kitchen in our apartment."
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